This will never be enough

When I met you, something very special and unique happened, I had never felt that I could be that open and sincere with anyone before. It felt like me being an open book for you and wanting you to read all about me. I wanted to share the darkest and most important parts of me with you, and you only. I wanted to know all about you, this could never be enough. This will never be enough. This is why I need to be entirely honest with you now.

You caught me at a very particular part of my life, a moment of doubt and loneliness. You made my life brighter, full of smiles and little joys along the path. You gave me strength, you gave me confidence and I will never forget the moments we had. I cannot name my feelings for you now, all I know is that in a time where friendship is rare, where I feel lonesome in a country that brought me few real “moments” and where I feel so far away from everything, I need you as a friend. I want to hear you tell me that you are happy, that you do not regret a thing. I could not survive anything else.

You are water in the desert, sun in the dark, joy in despair. You are the one I want to turn to.

I am happy, I found balance, I found someone who loves me and whom I love more than anything else. Someone I cannot imagine my life without. And I do not want to change a thing.

We are not meant to be but I need you anyway, if I would need only one person it would be you. It will never be easy, it will never actually BE, except in dreams but now I accepted that. You have your life and I have mine. We are doomed to only share some moments from time to time.

Even if… this will never be enough.

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